


don't keep me in the dark

by prettyccinnamon



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-debut, changjin - Freeform, finding out you are gay for ur bandmate, the boys are there for 2 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 04:17:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16846963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyccinnamon/pseuds/prettyccinnamon
Summary: It was easy falling in love with Hyunjin.or the one where changbin realises he is in love and pushes hyunjin away





	don't keep me in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo,,, its my first time posting something on ao3 so feedback would be interesting, thank you!

It was easy falling in love with Hyunjin. His locks waving along with his gentle moves when he danced in the practice room mesmerized Changbin. A month or two ago, thoughts like these weren’t a problem; it’s just brotherly affection... right? A month or two ago... Changbin wasn’t aware of how his brain’s plan was to drive him mad.

It all happened in one morning.

The boys were all gathered around the same table they had their meals on every day, talking about their debut, as usual. Woojin and Chan had cooked them delicious breakfast and they were all eating it gladly. At some point, Jisung was gesturing one dance move in particular and talking about how hard it was for him to, apparently, elbow his cup, because that’s what happened. His glass of milk splashed across the table. A loud scream could be heard but it was too late. Hyunjin’s clothes were soaked. “Jisung! I can’t believe you. It’s the second time this week, what’s your problem?” Hyunjin said, already taking his shirt off. And that’s when it occurred to Changbin; “Woah, how hot can this guy be?” and then “Wait, what?”

It wasn’t easy not falling in love with Hyunjin, especially when he and Changbin were so close, even though Changbin wanted to go further, often because he is stunning and most of the time because he is just a really sweet boy with a golden heart.

Although Changbin was profoundly in love and just wanted to scream that at the top of his lungs, it wasn't that simple. They had a career to consider. If it wasn't because of that, Changbin could yell his heart out to his bandmate and everything would've been fine. Hyunjin could be repulsed as much as he wanted. It would hurt, it's obvious, but he could deal with it. What he couldn't deal with is the thought of ruining their careers. The possibility of a disband wasn't welcomed. So he kept his mouth shut and pushed his feelings away, along with Hyunjin.

Back to the practice room, Hyunjin was showing Jeongin the best way to master a part of the choreography. With a hand on Jeongin's shoulder and the other on his hips, he tried to coordinate the maknae's body. Changbin looked at the two boys stealthily as they moved, jealousy dripping of their proximity. He knew Jeongin wasn't a "threat" at all, he just wished he could be that close to his loved one without feeling guilty or like he is going to imminently fuck up.

When Hyunjin noticed him lurking, he immediately offered help. Hyunjin had gotten the message, Changbin wasn't playing around anymore, but business is business, so when it was about the group, Hyunjin was always ready to help. Changbin denied the need for help with a dry "No, thank you" without any longings.

After a long evening spent practicing, all the members were heading to the dorms to have dinner and finally sleep. On the way home everyone was talking excitedly about, again, their debut. Changbin was looking through the window, overthinking his feelings, drowning in them. It’s just too much. If he can’t take it, how could he throw it all at Hyunjin? It didn’t, in fact, help his state of mind, when Changbin felt a light weight on his shoulder. Hyunjin’s head. The boy had fallen asleep. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" Changbin thought. Without having a second thought, Changbin curved his neck to glare at the other boy’s sleepy face. He had pushed himself away from him so much. It’s moments like this that he had to appreciate. When the boy is asleep, or too aloof to notice Changbin’s stare.

He was hoping to get stuck in traffic, but it wouldn’t matter because Hyunjin was already awake and looking at him with an afraid look on his face since Changbin had been treating him so bitterly. “Sorry”, the boy stuttered, almost embarrassed. How did they drift from being intimate to apologizing because of situations like this one? Changbin just looked away and pretended it didn’t happen. His heart clenched.

Weeks went by and one day Changbin stays in the studio until 4 am, with all this shit on his mind he had to spill it somewhere. Plenty lyrics and verses about unreciprocated love, broken hearts, responsibilities towards his career and confusion were rounding his head. When he came back to the dorm, he found an exhausted Hyunjin on the couch. He couldn’t leave the boy like that. His neck would be stiff by the morning. But Hyunjin was faster, by the time Changbin closed the door, he was already up. “What are you doing awake? You’ll have to be up by 7” “So do you” a long pause was made until Hyunjin was standing on Changbin’s path. “Excuse me?” he asked. “We are worried about you, you know?”, “You shouldn’t be” Changbin said, harshly as he fought his way through Hyunjin.

That night Hyunjin cried. He didn’t want to wake anyone up, so he stayed at the living room and muffled his sorrow onto the cushions. He loved Changbin so much. What happened for them to grow apart so suddenly? The two of them were so close. So happy. The doubt on his heart didn’t add up either, Hyunjin had just discovered about his tastes on boys. Changbin wasn’t making it easy on him.

Everyone has been so busy with the debut and everything, he was probably stressed and didn't mean to be like this.

He wishes he could just hold him. Tell him it was going to be okay, whatever he is going through right now. Run his fingers through his hair and kiss his cheeks, say soothing words on the other's ear. Hyunjin just wants Changbin to feel loved and happy.

Hyunjin couldn't bare losing Changbin without fighting for him. He had to do something about it. What if he asked Changbin to hang out? Maybe they could talk it out and make it work. Yes, that's it, he is going to plan something and ask Changbin to come with him.

Everyone noticed the extra time the makeup artist took on Hyunjin's eyes that morning.

Changbin knew it was his fault.

Later on that same day Hyunjin was getting on his nerves on his room as he gave himself a pep talk to go ask Changbin out. Well, what could go wrong? At last Changbin could say no and pull Hyunjin's heartstrings. He got up and walked to Changbin's room.

Inside the shared room he found Changbin laying down scrolling through his phone. "Hey, what do you want?", Changbin questioned "I just wanted to know if... if you wanted to go on a picnic with me tomorrow, if you are not too busy, of course, and if it isn't a dumb idea", the boy said in one breath. Changbin refused to go, fearing that being alone with Hyunjin could lead him to slip and go back to how it used to be. It was safer this way, but Hyunjin was curious why. As an answer, he got a hard "I just don't want to".

That hurt. A lot. Hyunjin could already feel his eyes water, making a fool of himself. At the heat of the moment, the taller boy asked the question that'd been creeping inside of him for a long time. "Binnie, don't you like me anymore?" Hyunjin was fighting not to let hot tears roll down his cheeks. "Hyunjin, I don't want to have this discussion" he said as he got up. It broke Changbin's heart to be mean to the other boy. Changbin just wanted to tell him everything he felt. Everything he is holding back. "What do you mean you don't want to have this discussion, do you think I am a toy or something?" The tear-stained face inquired.

"Hey, look at me". When Changbin brought his attention back to the boy, he didn't look good. "Tell me something Hyung" Hyunjin sobbed "Please don't keep me in the dark" "I'm just confused, you shouldn't bother", "Of course I do. We can talk it out, what do you think?"

After moments of silence and fidgeting, Changbin finally repeated, "I'm just confused", and Hyunjin clearly wanted to know more. "I'm confused, that's it. Can you please go now?" as Hyunjin didn't move, Changbin tried to leave the room, but Hyunjin stood up in front of him. "Binnie..." Hyunjin started, but was interrupted, "I love you, okay?" Changbin revealed the truth and regretted it the second he opened his mouth. Hyunjin couldn't stop crying, Changbin had destroyed it. Everything. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry" He was about to leave when Hyunjin stopped him by holding his arm. "What do you mean, you love me?" Changbin glanced at him as if it was a cruel thing to ask. He felt his heart down on his stomach, sinking "I know you are disgusted, I'm packing my bags".

"I'm not disgusted, how could I ever be disgusted by you?" Hyunjin said delicately. He tried to pull Changbin close, but the boy showed resistance. Changbin listened to every word that came out of the tall boy's mouth. "I love you too, Hyung" Hyunjin said, embracing the shorter boy carefully as if the moment was so fragile it might break or vanish into thin air.

Wrapped on Hyunjin, Changbin wasn't processing things right. Is this really happening? He could feel his eyes get watery. What a relief. He returned the hug as they both cried their worries out. After some time like this, they unwrapped themselves from one another and looked deeply into each other's wet eyes. Changbin grabbed Hyunjin's hand and led him to his bed.

The two boys are all tangled. Staring at each other, shedding themselves. Their confusion, their concerns, whispering "I love you" every now and then.

Hyunjin had never felt this good. He loved Changbin with every inch of his body. Changbin was so content it didn't fit inside of him, so it leaked through his eyes once again.

"Hyung, don't cry, what's wrong?", "I'm sorry, Jinnie" Changbin said as he snuggled up himself on Hyunjin's chest "I'm sorry for being so selfish all these months" "It's okay, Hyung, I understand, it was too risky" "But that's no excuse! I'm such a coward." Changbin spoke. "You are not a coward" Hyunjin inhaled deeply "I love you, remember? there's nothing to worry about. Everything is alright now. We are fine. I love you" He tried to calm Changbin and himself with those words while caressing Changbin's neck, his shoulders loosing up at each reassuring word the boy told him.

In Hyunjin's head, there were running thoughts everywhere. With excitement and expectations growing, he closed his eyes and started kissing the shorter boy's jawline lazily.

"What are you doing?" Changbin said, hesitant. "I'm sorry, am I going too fast? I can stop", "No, I mean, yes, mm, keep... keep doing that", Changbin told him, lifting a hand to hold his lover's waist. As a response, Hyunjin held himself up with one arm as he kissed Changbin's neck, leaving little pecks as he traced his way back to his cheeks. The grip on Hyunjin's waist tightened and their hitched breaths became one. Hyunjin stroked Changbin's jawline with his thumb as their lips crashed eagerly.

By the morning, Hyunjin's bed would be empty and the other members would find him with his nose buried in Changbin's neck. As much as Woojin wanted the others to leave them alone, Seungmin was already waking them up, cooing "Look at you!". At the end of the day, plenty comments are made about the lovey-dovey couple particularly seeing that their hands were glued from now on. And, of course, they would need to have a conversation about all of that with their manager, but it was nothing they couldn't solve.

Both don't know a lot of what they're doing, but maybe it wasn't terrible to try.


End file.
